(This was written about 7 months ago...if my math is correct. Which, it probably isn't.)
Alrighty, well Bear and I met a little over a year and 3 months ago through an online dating service. I wish I could at least tell you it was a respectable "classy" one, but that would have required monetary payment, and that wasn't going to happen. When I came back to California after being gone for seven years I just wanted to get out and have some fun. There was no way in hell I was going near Eharmony, Match, Christian Mingle, or the best of the best Farmersonly. Nope, Plenty Of Fish (aka POF) was my choice in the search for a nice guy. And yeah okay don't judge, but I might, might have joined Tinder for a minute. (So did he. Fyi) Swipe right, swipe left (I did that a lot)...it passed the time.
I first signed up two months after my return to the Golden State. We met a year and a half after that. I really wish it had been sooner because I was starting to lose hope that any decent men who didn't just want one thing even existed.
Yes, I know I was fishing in a free online dating app pond...but still. I met some full on bat shit crazies, and I could tell some stories... Anyways, one day I'm scrolling through profiles while drinking my morning coffee that is full of chocolate syrup and topped with whipped cream, and I come across this man who looks adorable, with the profile headline that says, JUST SEEING WHAT'S OUT THERE. Well, I'm out here and you're cute, so "Heyyyyyyy." Which was my usual well thought out greeting when sending a message. He responded soon after that and the rest is history. We're now engaged and soon to be married. After meeting, neither of us has liked being apart from the other. Yep, we're sickening. The truth is we have something rare and we know it. Other people roll their eyes at it if we even dare say that out loud. But, some more truth is that's not our problem. Neither of us have ever been happier. And I will be so bold as to say we deserve to be happy (finally) in this absurd life.
You might have guessed my name is Leah. However, Bear is his nickname given to him by yours truly. I am literally the only person that calls him this. He's over six feet tall, bald, bearded and has a tattoo on his chest of a bear paw with the face of a growling bear inside the paw. What else would I call him? If I didn't call him that this blog would be called, 'Leah and Lee' which I guess has an alright ring to it. We have a lot more in common than just our first initials. We LOVE traveling and road trips. Before we met I had only been to a handful of west coast states, but now we've been on two across the country road trips, and now it's only a handful of states that I haven't been to.
The downside to loving being on the road is we get cabin fever quickly and crave exploring. We love all things Disney, we love food, (who doesn't) we love superhero movies and tv, Halloween, Christmas, cooking, making each other laugh, ranting, voicing our opinions, being silly and being sarcastic. The best thing is we just have common life goals. At some point we would like to find a career where we could work together. Maybe we'll open a bed and breakfast or something, or a miniature golf funland park. The possibilities are endless. Kind of. We really do enjoy each others company and only care about being together. (insert eye roll and gagging noise)
A few basics about me:
I like to write. I like to write about real life, my life, everyone's life. I also really enjoy writing stories of fiction. I try to write everyday, especially since I'm working on several books, but I'm going to buckle down and concentrate on one at a time. I obviously like to blog/write about this crazy and amazing nonsensical life we're all just trying to get through without killing someone. I've been momming for almost sixteen years now, and she has become an amazing human, and I couldn't be happier that my plan to mold her into the better version of myself is coming along nicely.
I grew up in a small city in the San Francisco bay area. I had somewhat of a tough time growing up. From kindergarten until I graduated high school I was bullied. Sometimes it was minor and some years it was major, but it was constant. Bullies had a lot of material to work with so why would they take a break. I was always overweight, my family was poor, and I wore glasses that were the best welfare could buy, picked out by my mom, and way too big for my face.
While looking at my childhood photos recently Bear told me, "You know your mom did that on purpose right? She knew she was making you wear BCG's." Um what the hell are BCG's I asked. "Birth Control Glasses" Oh I see. Is that why boys didn't talk to me? Could my mother really have been that devious? As soon as I bought new glasses after high school with my own money I did have better luck getting attention from the opposite sex...hmmm. (Not THAT much better but slightly improved)
My home life wasn't ideal either, (not unheard of) and not just because we were poor and a can of Spam and a block of government cheese really excited me. My father was a bad-tempered, bitter, angry soul with a gambling problem. He was verbally, mentally and emotionally abusive every second of every day. My mother was even-tempered with a gentle soul and did her best. My main wish while growing up was for her to leave my father, but that would only happen for a minute before he manipulated her to come back. A friend of mine who had met them both once said I was raised by the devil and an angel. Eh...I don't know that I would go that far in regards to either of them. They were both very much human. They both came from a form of abusive parents, and they both had their issues.
Growing up I was always on edge waiting for my father's next big blow up. Or waiting for the next terrible thing he was going to do, like gamble away all the rent money. My mother spent her free time telling me about all the dangers in the world and how everything was bad for you. It's no wonder I live with a panic disorder, anxiety and depression. Are these things a direct result of my childhood? I don't know, but I do know a handful of other family members deal with some of these things so maybe it was already in my dna. However, since I do live with these things and remember all of my mother's cautionary tales, I have never been on an airplane. And remember how much I love to travel! My fear of getting on a plane definitely limits my travel to only road trips for the rest of my life. Bear is convinced he'll get me on one. We both want to see Europe, but I just need to figure out how to get to Italy without setting foot on a flying deathtrap.
Enough about me. For now. Some basics about Bear:
He grew up in California's central valley and was a star football player in high school, but he wasn't your average jock. (Except maybe when he had cheerleaders do his homework. Only because he was very busy of course.) Bear was well liked, but didn't act like a "popular" kid, and never hesitated to stand up for others who couldn't stand up for themselves. His heart and his mind have always been above average. His intelligence, strength, humor and kindness are extraordinary. He can succeed at anything he attempts in this life, it's like magic follows him, but it's his strength of will that makes him unlike any other. Growing up he had his struggles but he always persevered. After high school he joined the army and went overseas.
He's even been on stages playing guitar with some recognizable names during his time living in the south. He is probably the most multi-talented person I've ever met. He's an amazing artist and can draw and tattoo anything. After the army, he found himself a successful job and got married to a life lesson. When he learned his lesson that relationship ended and he found me. (Yay!) Currently, he has jumped into a real estate career and I couldn't be more proud of him for trying something completely new. My love has a tendency to have a mouth as big as his heart. Bear speaks without a filter, but also without malice.
We're both goofy, silly, and sarcastic. Which brings us to...Who we are: A thirty-seven year old man and a forty year old woman who at their core are goofballs who need to laugh every day to survive, and who detest meanness and mean spirited people. We have no tolerance for bullies or abusers. We have a goal of living life and not just existing within this existence that we've been given. Waking up day to day and only going through the motions like a robot is not living, and we did that for too long before meeting each other. We want to explore, travel, roadtrip, eat, taste, love, laugh, curse only when the moment really calls for it, and be around genuine people with kind hearts, and souls that truly want the best for us. We want to make each other laugh hard at least once a day, and make anyone around us laugh.
And we can only hope that anyone in our space can bring positivity, not create drama and chaos because it's Tuesday, and if not than Godbless, we wish you well but you are not welcome here. I've struggled with letting pettiness and negativity of others get to me, but what Bear and I have together helps to silence all the noise, and brings us much deserved peace and surrounds us with the kind of happiness that we both always searched for.
If I could spread one life lesson (besides: For goodness sakes if you are bitter and unhappy don't take it out on other people. A comedian I discovered on Facebook has a saying, "Check your heart"...Amen) it would be to never accept and settle for the mediocre version of anything. And I'll add, to be happy for other people and cheer them on when they find the courage to go after what truly excites them in life. So that was only a minuscule bit of who we are. We all have a complicated story and we're no different. This was just the tip of ours. Just. The. Tip.
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this at all please head over to my other blog for more! https://humoroustoheinous.com/
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